Testimony

This past Monday, I spent almost 12 hours at the Texas State Capitol. I completely miscalculated how
long I would be there and forgot to stock my ‘mom purse’ full of snacks and a water bottle. Lesson learned for next time! To explain why I was at the Capitol, let me back up a little… 

In the spring, a friend alerted me to the fact that the Texas Senate was holding hearings on redistricting. Once the state receives the census numbers from the Federal Government, our Governor can call a special session to redraw federal and local districts. I decided that it would be a good time to start using my voice to stand up to gerrymandering because, in the end, it is setting the boundaries for each district that would affect the outcome of the 2022 elections and all elections moving forward...for 10 years. I know that the 2020 election was one of the most important for our generation and I also believe that 2022 is stacking up to be just as important, if not more, than 2020. The testimony in the spring was easy by many standards because I was able to give it from the comfort of my own home, over Zoom. After watching many others speak their minds, I was a little nervous because I had not really prepared anything to say other than using a quote from Lyndon Baines Johnson on voting and quoting from the Texas Constitution that it should be the 2023 Texas Session that should work on redistricting for state and local races. I was on and off rather quickly and relieved that it was over yet still glad that I spoke up.

Near the end of the Texas Legislative session in May, many Democrats walked out from the House floor in protest of the voting bill that Republicans were trying to pass that would restrict voting in many ways including but not limited to stopping 24 hour voting and drive through voting.  Both of these means to cast a ballot were used to help encourage people to vote during the pandemic and also helped people who work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet or work irregular shifts, and some elderly and disabled. The voting bill will prohibit or curtail some of these creative avenues for Texans to vote and therefore suppress the vote of many based on the premise that there is widespread voter fraud in Texas, which there is not. 

As a result of the great Democratic Walk Out at the end of the normal Texas Legislative Session, Governor Abbott called a special session to get everyone back to the table to pass many legislative agenda items that were not completed in the regular session.  As the first special legislative session was about to begin, the House Democrats took further steps to keep the restrictive voting bill from passing and left the state of Texas all together. As a Texan and someone who fiercely believes in people exercising their right to vote in order to have their voices heard, I was cheering from the sidelines. 

In July, when I had heard about the Poor People’s Campaign teaming up with Powered By People to organize a march from Georgetown to Austin, Texas, I knew I had to get off the couch and show up. The precision with which the event was organized is attributed to many volunteers from both organizations led by Reverend Dr. William J. Barber, Reverend Dr. Liz Theoharis and Beto O’Rourke. I was able to attend the Tuesday evening rally in Georgetown, walk the morning segments Wednesday and Thursday and then walk the entire 10 miles from the N. Lamar area of Austin all the way to UT campus on Friday. I met some amazing and inspiring people of all ages who are not afraid to speak truth to power and work to effect change. On Saturday, there was a short walk and rally that took place on the steps of the Texas Capitol. I had not intended on doing the walk portion on Saturday since I had already walked 20+ miles over three days but I couldn’t keep myself from being swept up in the energy from the starting place in the parking lot of the AFL-CIO office adjacent to the Capitol. The crowd zigzagged around the Capitol, up the south lawn and stopped at the steps in front of the pink granite building. Thousands showed up to support the cause. That week of action cemented my resolve to stay active and do whatever I can to help use my voice to help others find and use theirs. 

Flash forward to this past weekend when I heard the TX House committee was going to hold a session to hear public testimony on SB 1, I knew that I wanted to take the next logical step after the July march, and testify against this bill. With the help of some friends, we crafted my testimony. I wasn’t so nervous about standing up and testifying, I was only a bit stressed Monday morning when I realized I had not been inside the Capitol in YEARS nor did I know really how to register to testify. After a quick search on the Texas House of Representative website, I figured a few things out quickly and was out the door. Once I parked at Visitor parking and walked several blocks to the Capitol (note to self, always wear comfortable shoes for the trek and pack the pretty shoes for later) I found the auditorium. There were two iPads in front of the auditorium on which to register, both were not working very well so it took a little while to sign in before I finally got to enter the room. 

Inside the auditorium, the dais held a dozen or so committee members. I recognized Representative Senfronia Thompson immediately, Representatives Bucy, Moody and Johnson, too. I was a little taken aback as I didn’t realize all of them had returned from D. C. but glad to see them and feel they were co-warriors in this fight for democracy. As I settled into a seat, I realized they were talking about HB 20 instead of SB 1 and was relieved I hadn’t missed my chance to speak. HB 20 is a bill authored by Representative Briscoe Cain that relates to censorship of/or certain other interference with digital expression, including expression on social media platforms through electronic mail messages. SB 1, authored by Representative Hughes relates to election integrity and security, including preventing apparently rampant fraud in the conduct of elections in this state. I am glad I was in the room early enough to hear the bills being discussed and testimony for both. 

My observation throughout both of the hearings was that both bills are about citizens of Texas having equal opportunity to use their voice, either on social media (owned and controlled by private companies) or equal opportunity at the ballot box to exercise the right to vote; using their voice in action (controlled by the government). The First Amendment protects citizens who want to use their voice related to government entities and private companies can decide who can use their platforms and dismiss or penalize those who threaten or incite violence or do not follow a set of rules set out by the private companies. My focus was on the ballot box portion of the hearings.

After watching several testimonies, I wanted to ask Representative Lozano how many people actually committed fraud and were convicted during the 2020 election via drive-thru, mail-in or 24 hour voting but ran out of time. I wanted to ask _him_ this question because during the hearings of SB 1 he pointed out a tiny few instances of voter fraud in Texas but I didn’t hear any references to fraud in 2020. There may be a very small number of instances of voter fraud, but it is my understanding that it's the job of the AG’s office and the Secretary of State to find and prosecute voter fraud. Wouldn’t it imply that those two offices are not able to execute their job if they need to prohibit or severely curtail these highly successful and out-of-the-box types of voting? Shouldn’t we, as a democracy, want more people to use their voice on election day? I believe we should. 

During a testimony in favor of HB20, Chairman Ashby gave an ‘expert’ witness a “lifeline”, as he called it and the gentleman was allowed to speak for another 5+ minutes, giving his ‘voice’ more weight than that of others in the room. It is ironic that one bill is trying to give more people a voice without consequences while curtailing that of others just because they don’t agree with you or those in power. For the record, when I gave my testimony and the buzzer went off indicating my time was up, Chairman Ashby did not extend my time for me to finish my prepared speech. 

I also wanted to ask the committee members if they remember what they were doing on February 18th of this year because I can remember what I was doing, like it was yesterday. I was on day 7 of intermittent electricity and water due to the wild winter storm that barreled across Texas. That morning, I was carting water from my pool to flush my toilets when I heard about one of our Senators from Texas high-tailing it to Mexico. I was furious (which made my blood boil and was probably a good thing since my heat was working only intermittently) and there was still snow on the ground. The failure of the Texas Power Grid in February is a problem in need of a solution for millions of Texans. HB 20 and SB1 are bills that are a solution looking for a problem (as I said in my testimony), and as Representative Bucy said is only affecting a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of Texans. Our power grid needs more attention than our very secure, nearly fraud-free Texas elections. 

On a final note, I am a person of privilege. It is a privilege that I was able to take time from work during the week to march from Georgetown to Austin in July AND take a day off from work to sit for almost 12 hours to eventually give testimony on a bill that is trying to keep people from voting/using their voice. I came home from the long day on Monday and collapsed in my big, living room chair suffering from vertigo and it has taken me several days to feel somewhat back to normal. My friend, Sheri, commented that in Chinese medicine, vertigo is associated with disharmony. Whether this is 100% accurate or not, there is a lot of disharmony overwhelming so many parts of our lives these days like the pandemic, climate change and many other things that should be more of a priority than combatting apparent voter fraud.

More people of privilege need to speak up for those who are not able to use their voices as easily. I wish more people who have the means (e.g., time, money, power) would speak up to make voting easier not harder, for wearing a mask around others and for getting the vaccine for themselves AND for the community. As my friend Marianne so eloquently pointed out, community = common + unity. To combat the disharmony that is rampant in our country, we need to find the ‘common’ nature in all of us. To unite. To find our voices. To help other find theirs. 

 Below is the full text of my testimony (I got cut off at the 2 minute mark and forgot to ask for a ‘lifeline’ from Chairman Ashby like he gave to other speakers). I would NEVER have been able to stand up and use my voice without the help of Alex, Jennifer, Lesley and Kellyn as my support system near and far. 

 “The vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice” – wise words from a wise Texan. LBJ knew well that the right to vote is at the heart of being American. It’s a pity: those who wrote this bill forget that. 

 This bill apparently solves voter fraud. To warrant so sweeping a bill, voter fraud must be rampant in Texas. Let’s look at the numbers: last year, Eleven Million, Three Hundred and Fifteen Thousand, and Fifty-Six Texans voted – more than ever before. Out of those millions, the number of people that the Attorney General has prosecuted for voted fraud? One. 

 Not one hundred, not one thousand. One. One person. 

 That’s a tiny number! There’s a bigger chance that California’s got better barbeque than Texas, and when we’re asked to believe that voter fraud is a widespread problem, it’s just as laughable. 

 This bill is a solution in search of a problem. 

What, then, is this bill for? It is for politicians who wish they could do without elections altogether: cut the people out of the deal! Every American, every Texan, has the right to vote. Not the privilege, not the honor, the right to vote. Texans will not sit idle as their rights are taken away. 

 Cutting 24 hour & early voting takes the right to vote from those who work three jobs to stay afloat. Banning drive through voting takes those rights from some of our elders or the disabled. Are they not proud Texans? Should they not have the right to vote? 

 A right cannot exist only in name. A right cannot exist for some and not all. A right must stand for all in action and opportunity. We must remember what every American child pledges to: “…one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” 

 With Liberty and Justice for All. Members of the Texas House: Our justice is our right to choose our government. Our liberty is our right to vote.

Love (& Life) in the Time of Corona

 

I have sat down numerous times over the last several months to write this post about living life in the time of Corona and each time I have gotten up from the computer unable to finish it.  On my walk/run this morning, as I wondered and wandered, a few thoughts really took hold to pull my thoughts together.  As my pace picked up from a walk, to a trot, to a run I imagined what Forrest Gump was thinking as he sat on the porch with his new Nike tennis shoes that Jenny gave to him.  The thoughts that made him start running and keeping him going for 3 years, 2 month, 14 days and 16 hours.  “You got to put the past behind you, before you can move on.” Forrest said.  I’ve also been thinking about how hard the last 10 or so months have been, many times feeling like I wanted to just start running like Forrest and a few things have kept me here and moving: my very dear friend Kellyn who reminds me that ‘no matter where you go, there you are’,  M. Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled: “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” and most importantly, my daughter. Technically, I could start running to get away from life, yet there is no escaping my thoughts and the need to deal with my grief.  You have to go through it and live it before you can move on.  

 

There was no way I could run from my responsibility of being a mom and I didn't want to. My daughter was in her senior year of high school, in several performances and applying for colleges, with all that entails, including college visits, late nights of homework and applications and just keeping her head above water.  She has been my Big Why since even before birth and is still a big motivating factor in decisions I make and my raison d’etre.  In early March, the stars were aligning as she selected her top college choice and we waited anxiously for their response to her application which was twofold: Honors and Fine Arts colleges.  When she got the ”YES” from both, I finally registered for a life coaching class that would meet in D.C. once a month starting in August.  This would mean I would get to fly to the east coast and get to see her and her grandparents before each two-day class in D.C.  It would help me transition more easily as an empty nester and getting used to the fact that I wouldn’t see her each day, even if only in passing.  Everything started falling apart by mid-March as places went on lockdown due to COVID 19.  Little did I know how much loss was coming my way within a short few months and how the COVID 19 timeline across the world was a parallel timeline to my own.

 

The virus timeline, runs parallel with my family’s loss and grief timeline.  In early October, as we now know the virus was spreading in China, my former Father-in-Law (ex-husband’s stepfather) started feeling bad.  After some testing, the doctors discovered that the colon cancer that Pops fought so well a few years ago had returned and spread to other parts of his body.  When I got the call from my former Mother-in-Law, Linda, that Pops wasn’t doing well and that they were going to reach out to Hospice, I immediately started looking at my calendar and mapping out my visit.  I bought a ticket the next day once I could make all the arrangements needed with/and for my daughter and for work.  I am so very thankful for the few days I spent with both of them at the beginning of November, spending quality time with both of them and some precious moments with my sisters-in-law, brother-in-law and his new girlfriend (now wife) and some extended family that came to visit.  There were plans to return at Thanksgiving when my daughter, her dad and brother-in-law were returning to visit and sadly, Pops passed just before Thanksgiving.  Pops treated me like one of his family even after I was no longer married to his stepson.  He stepped in as a father for me, too, after my father passed away, 17 years ago on September 18.  

 

As COVID began to spread and the US was still figuring out what actions to take and how to contain the virus, cities started shutting down and schools began sending kids home.  Thankfully, Austin Leaders got together and made the tough decision to cancel South By Southwest that would have brought over 200,000 people to Austin from around the world.  I am sure a huge number of cases of COVID would have started to appear, brought and spread by people who were asymptomatic and would have created a SUPER, super spreader event. This decision had a snowball effect on our family, too.  Just days after celebrating Mother’s Day, my momma went into the hospital with pneumonia.  We, as a family, were lucky because there was somewhat of a pause in cases of COVID and the hospital where my mother was sent, was virus free.  This meant that I, and many of my siblings, were able to take 24 hour shifts and spend the night with her.  I arrived on Saturday for my scheduled time with her just as her numbers were doing poorly and she was moved to ICU.  Momma struggled during that time, maintaining all of her vitals including her blood pressure that kept dropping and difficulty breathing from the COPD and trying different masks to help get much needed oxygen to her lungs to help fight.  I was eventually relieved by one of my brothers. I was very tired AND very grateful that she was not in the hospital like so many people who were suffering from COVID while their families were at home, not able to hold their hands and comfort them.  On May 19^th, the family text went around that she was not doing well at all.  On a call with the doctor that morning, we were told  that all the doctors and nurses had done all they could to help and her body and organs were shutting down.  We called Hospice once again with the intent of getting her home and out of the hospital as soon as we could.  I was so very torn that morning trying to figure out what to do next, rush to the hospital or not.  If she made it home, I could see her there instead which was my preference for all of us and for her.  That very day, my daughter was preparing for an AP exam and was also going to get a visit from her theatre teachers who were presenting her with a gift and wishing her well on her college journey and I didn’t want to miss it.  After some frantic texting with siblings and her teachers, I told Nicole I had an errand to run and would be back after her exam.  I raced to the hospital that was about 30 minutes away, so worried that I was going to miss seeing her that I missed the exit off of IH-35. I cursed in my car out loud when I got the text from one of my sisters that they were about to give Momma a shot of morphine to ease her suffering.  Luckily I made it before the shot and was so thankful again that this hospital was COVID free and that we were able to be with her. I was able to stay for about 30 minutes before another sibling arrived and wanted to visit. The hospital was already allowing us in groups of 4 rather than the preferred 2 because there are so many of us.  I raced back to the house to share some joy with my girl knowing her teachers would arrive at noon.  As we waited for her teachers, who were running behind, I knew when it happened before the text came from a brother, she took her last breath just before noon on that Tuesday. She was gone. I cannot fathom the pain of so many who have lost loved ones due to COVID who are sitting at home, possibly seeing their family members for the last time via video.  I am so thankful for all the nurses and doctors who work to give care to those who are suffering.

 

The week of mom’s death was a roller coaster of emotion and activity.  More and more places closed down, including nursing homes, which meant no visitors in or out like the hospitals, in order to protect the very vulnerable populations.  My kiddo has several graduation activities that week, all of them virtual.  Her graduation, normally a rather plethora of emotions of happiness and sadness, ended up bringing a huge ray of light into the week on Friday, just before Mom’s services on Saturday.  It was mostly family only, with a few friends scattered about, but my family is large, so there was still some discomfort surrounding the gathering punctuated by the difficulty maneuvering a family event where some took mask wearing seriously and others felt it was not needed.

 

As June progressed and numbers rose, more and more families were suffering with the loss of family members who would die alone, in hospitals struggling for their last breaths as COVID ravaged their lungs and bodies.  We got the call end of June that Fifie was not doing well in the nursing home on Monday and my daughter’s birthday was on Thursday.  I felt so horrible for my daughter who already had Mom's death and services bookend her graduation week and prayed that at least Fifie would not pass on her 18th birthday.  We had not told our 106 year old nanny that mom had passed, we didn’t have the heart to tell her yet I still have a feeling that she knew, just like I knew.  A sister and brother were able to get into the rehab center dressed in masks, gloves and surgery garb to see her. Luckily, I was able to FaceTime while one was there and when I told her I loved her, she did look towards the camera and blew a kiss. Fifie made it through to the end of the week and I received the call early on  Saturday, June 27^th that she fell asleep and didn’t wake up.  While it wasn’t due to COVID that we know of, she passed away, alone, without her family there to hold her hand like so many of the now almost 200,000 who have died this year.  I miss her hands that were rough from years of cooking, sewing and caring for us.  I can still remember when I was young and not feeling well and she would rub Vick’s on my upper chest to make me feel better with her 'scratchy' hands. I am reminded of her scratchy fingers by necklace I wear around my neck with her finger print on the front and the date of birth and death on the back.  I also think of the quote “On your headstone there is a dash that separates the date of birth and the date of death.” Fifie’s ‘dash’ was one of selfless love, doing so much for our family from cooking and doing laundry to kissing hurts and hugging sadness away.  She came from Haiti to live with us when she was 53, the age I am today, and lived an entire second life here in the United States, her adopted home.  She was the epitome of unconditional love for me and I miss her every day.  My hope is that she knew how much she was loved even in the loneliness of the nursing home.

 

After much soul searching with all the grief in our lives, the Corona virus spread and the swirling craziness in America and the world, I decided to keep the commitment to myself and started the life coaching class at the beginning of August. With M. Scott Peck’s opening sentence swirling in my brain to quell some of my anxious thoughts, I took some deep breaths and clicked the Zoom link to start.  The first weekend of class, we all spent time introducing ourselves. After each introduction, the master coaches took turns talking to us and expressing their observation of our essence.  Master Coach Mark started asking me a few questions and made the analogy that I was like a shark, in constant motion in order to breath and stay alive.  Just like Forrest kept running to process all that had happened in his life and get beyond the sorrow, Mark was spot on.  I am carrying around 20 lbs of sadness and grief (figuratively and literally) and I must keep moving in order to breath, afraid that if I ever really stop to process the last 10 months of my life (and of America really starting back to November of 2016), I won’t be able to move again.  My new commitment to myself is to look for the magic in life in hopes that over the next 12 months, rather than swimming like a shark, I will be able to shed the pounds of sadness. As each pound drops away, I will be able to swim with more curiosity, love, and light, not like a shark but instead like a dolphin leaping through the waves with pure joy and happiness and life will be magical once again.

Repost - Oak Wilt and Impeachment

From January:

As I was doing my run/walk around my neighborhood recently, I was noticing the many hues in nature that fill the landscapes of yards I pass each morning.  Many who visit Central Texas this time of year are surprised by the many colors that make an appearance in the late Fall and early Winter here.  The fall colors are not quite as plentiful as those found in other parts of the country, however we still get the maroon browns, burnt oranges, reds, yellows and a variety of pinks.  Currently, my knock out roses are blooming still with reds and pinks and the bright red berries against the green leaves of the Texas Yaupon trees are perfectly timed around Christmas, like they were made for easy outdoor decorating for the holidays.  Another thing that visitors notice is how green this part of Texas stays even in winter.  Some trees do lose their leaves here and many grasses go dormant and turn to a brownish, dull color, but the Texas Live Oak is still a vibrant green because it is an evergreen tree.

The Live Oak figures prominently in Texas history lore.  Since it only loses it leaves in bags-full in the spring, it provides shade for children to play, late afternoon meetings of all sorts and to protect oneself from the oppressive Texas sun July through September.  According to folklore, in the 1830s, Stephen F. Austin met with Native Americans to negotiate a boundaries treaty under Treaty Oak here in Austin and Sam Houston rested under the tree after leaving the Governorship.  Another popular tale describes Santa Anna's surrender to a wounded Sam Houston under an oak tree after the Battle of San Jacinto which eventually led to the creation of the Republic of Texas.  On a very personal note, it was the very grand, 120+ year old Live Oak tree in the back yard of my current home that was a huge influence on my decision to purchase this place a little over 12 years ago.

The large tree in my backyard reminds me of the tree in Forrest Gump that Forrest and Jennie would spend hours climbing and sitting on the branches talking and sitting quietly thinking about life.  As a child, my 7 siblings and I spent a lot of time in the tree branches of a similar tree that grew in our front yard.  We LOVED that tree and I very much wanted for my daughter to have similar memories.  She also spent many hours with friends, climbing the branches and swinging on the swings that were attached to one of the largest and most horizontal branches.  Sadly, the tree developed a grave problem.

A little over two years ago, I noticed that the leaves of our tree were not a plentiful as usual in the winter but still a nice color of green.  In the spring, like all Live Oaks, it lost all its leaves followed by waves of green pollen that filled the air, pools, covered all cars and outdoor furniture with a thick layer of green pollen, then the leaves started to come back.  I thought the mighty oak had recovered then I noticed that fewer leaves came back and they did not look as healthy as they had in the past.  I hired an arborist to come check it out and she sadly gave me the prognosis that the tree had oak wilt.  This 120+ year old tree had survived pushing its roots through solid, visible bedrock around its trunk and years of off and on drought to live so long but this horrible fungus-related tree disease was going to take it down.

Oak Wilt is one of the most destructive tree diseases in Texas.  It is an infectious disease caused by a fungus which invades and disables the water-conducting system. Texas Live Oaks are most seriously affected due to their tendency to grow with a vast, interconnected root system that allows movement of the fungus among adjacent trees.  Live oaks defoliate and die within 3-6 months following the initial appearance of symptoms. Occasionally, a few live oaks in an oak wilt center may escape infection and remain unaffected by the disease even though the large, dense group of trees (called motts) have interconnected roots.

The fungus is transmitted by small beetles that emerge and visit fresh wounds of healthy oaks during the months of February to May.  To prevent the spread, during certain times of the year, you are not supposed to cut/trim any limbs of the trees.  Of course, wounds on trees can occur in various ways, so tree trimming is not the only point of entry for the beetle.  Once one tree is infected, to prevent he spread of the disease, a fungicide in big, keg barrels is used around other oaks and the diseased tree is removed.

The day the crew came to take the tree down hit me like a ton of lead.  When my landscaper came to check on the progress and how I was doing, I broke down sobbing in her arms.  The tree held so many memories for me and my daughter and there is no telling how much history surrounded it.  In a few short hours, the 120+ year old tree would be no more.

In some ways, I equate the current climate in our society and political arena to the spread and devastation caused by Oak Wilt.  In this scenario, the fungus/oak wilt is intolerance, divisiveness, lies and hate that is affecting all areas of our lives. President Trump is not the first 'beetle' to burrow himself into the mighty tree of our Democratic Republic, however with his words and actions, he has fanned the flames that spread this diseases and it feels like it will forever damage our country.

Who was the first 'beetle' to strike the first blow to our 243 year old governmental tree and weaken so many parts of our government and sow the seeds of doubt and divisiveness?  Could it have been Doug Coe, Richard Nixon, Roger Ailes?  Or might it have been Rush Limbaugh or Alex Jones?  There are 'beetles' that seem to have infected several branches of our government like Bill Barr in the DOJ, Brett Kavanaugh in the Judicial Branch, Mitch McConnell in the Legislative Branch and of course, Trump, in the Executive branch.  The poison of lies, deceit and hate started out being subtly spread and now are on a full-on attack to our country.

Many have stepped forward to inject the healing fungicide into our government to prevent further spread of this fungus of hate including Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Shumer and Adam Schiff.  Outside the Legislative Branch we could include Marie Yovannovitch, Fiona Hill, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, Bill Taylor and George Kent.  Their testimonies at the Impeachment Trial were one quick blast to the system to attempt to get those who have sworn to protect our Constitution to stand up and follow through on that oath.  Is it too little too late?

Outside the government are some who also work to expose the truth and work to save our county by putting country over party.  Rick Wilson, Bill Kristol, Matthew Dowd, Ana Navarro, Karine Jean-Pierre, Nicolle Wallace and Molly Jong-Fast to name a few of the many.  We can be appreciative of one of the groups recently formed called the Lincoln Project whose mission is to defeat President Trump and Trumpism at the ballot box.  All of these patriots are working to inject the fungicide at a dosage that will halt and hopefully stop the spread of the disease that would render our Democratic Republic obsolete and turn it into a relic and a shell of its original self just like the tree in my backyard.

Through the Impeachment process, the Legislative Branch is working to show that no one is above the law.  A serious question is whether or not the institutions/branches of government are strong enough or has the 'fungus' already weakened them so much that the attempts are futile.  Some defending the president say that the Impeachment is a coup or an attempt to overturn the election in 2016.  I whole-heartedly disagree.  In sporting events AND elections, when one cheats or lies, there should be natural consequences.  When the depth of deceit was fully disclosed during Watergate hearings, Nixon resigned instead of being impeached. When it was fully revealed that Lance Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs to win in cycling, he was stripped of 7 of his Tour De France and banned from cycling.  Similarly, American Athlete, Marion Jones, was formally stripped of the 5 medals she won at the Sydney games in 2000.  No one is, nor should be, above the law and when lies and cheating for personal benefit is exposed, they should expect the natural consequences to come into play.  All the evidence to date points to the fact that President Trump has lied and cheated for his own personal gain.  The extent of this is still unknown yet it is time for those who continue to defend him to make amends and do the right thing.

While our 120+ year old tree did not survive the pernicious oak wilt, in its place I have cultivated a garden that provides flowers, fruits and vegetables for us to enjoy.  The Treaty Oak in downtown Austin survived the 1989 vandalism by herbicide poison but two thirds of the tree died and more than half of the crown was pruned away. It still stands today, obviously somewhat lopsided, and producing acorns again.  The fungus of division, lies and hate in our country and of factions in the government need to be stopped if we are to save the 240+ year old tree of our Constitution and our Democratic Republic.  What our country will look like once the oak wilt/division is eradicated, is anyone's guess.  It can still bear fruit for years to come, as long as those in power will stand up to defend it.

13 Years

Many people are surprised to learn that I am part Haitian.  My mother was born in Port-au-Prince to a American mother and Haitian father.  She lived there until she was about 15 years old when her mother returned to New York City (her second hometown).  Many years ago, I visited my Aunt Rona who ended up marrying a Haitian artist and spending most of her life in the Caribbean.  I mostly remember that life was not easy in Haiti.  A trip up into the mountains to visit a family cabin took 3 hours over very rough roads with huge potholes that wound through the mountains with lush greenery all around.  It wasn't the distance that made it a 3-hour adventure, it was the terrain and lack of good roads.

I visited Haiti in the late 90s and stayed with my Aunt. My Aunt's house had plumbing but no running water. Stationed in the kitchen and the bathroom were multiple 5 gallon buckets that were filled at least weekly from a garden hose in the neighborhood.  Water had to be boiled for cooking and consuming but the buckets in the bathroom could be used to bath and manually flush the toilet after use.  Since I visited in the summer, the cool 'showers' were welcome relief to the end-of-day stickiness.  I use the term shower lightly because bathing consisted of using a small bowl and splashing myself with water before lathering and repeating with the small bowl to remove the soap as thoroughly as possible.  Flushing the toilet took a little more skill than I seemed to be able to learn and often had to have my aunt's help in that department.  She skillfully raised a bowl filled with water practically holding it at shoulder height then letting the water fall into the bowl like a chef sprinkling salt from above a dish to disperse it where it needed to go.  The oddity for me was having my aunt, who was often dressed rather elegantly considering the circumstances and heat in Haiti have to help me flush the toilet in this manner. 

After this eye-opening trip and witnessing the earthquake that ravaged Haiti in 2010 from the comfort of my home, I have often been known to say that when I go to the sink, turn on the faucet and water comes out, it is a good day.  Even a few years ago here in Austin when we had to boil water for several days, I still felt the same way because at least I just had to take water out of the faucet and just boil it for use.  We could still use our showers and toilets the same, luckily my daughter and I were able to adjust and I boiled water and saved it in containers around the kitchen for use when needed.  The reason behind the boiling of water was due to historic flooding in the outskirts of the Austin area that ended up filtering down to the water treatment plants for the city.  Around the same time of our Boil-Water situation, a report came out about the urgency related to climate change.  Loosely explained, we had 13 years, now obviously less than that, to lessen our carbon emissions and lower the temperature of the earth because for every .5 degree difference in our temperature, more and more climate change events would happen.

Since the report, we all can read the news related to all the events around the world that are happening.  Some include but are not limited to melting of Antarctica, historic temperatures all around the world, more hurricanes of greater strength, locusts swarms in Africa, fires in Australia...the list goes on.  Recently on Facebook, I posted a story about an initiative in Ireland that will plant 22 million trees every year to combat climate change.  I was very disheartened to get a comment from one of my high school science teachers stating that climate changes have been going on for billion of years thru cycles over and over.  While I don't disagree with the premise of her statement, I also feel like the trend is that our earth is heating up and the ripples could be catastrophic.

This deniability of climate change and global warming reminds me of the scene in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom where the young Maharaja as well as Indiana Jones are in a trance.  Short Round has to has to use a lighted torch to burn Indiana to pull him out of his trance in order to wake him up and keep him from hurting others. I keep wondering with the climate change deniers will wake up and realize the are existence is being threatened by this issue.  So many are brainwashed, for lack of a better word, into denying climate change, vaccines, etc.

I have thought in the past a lot about my faith and that many teachings center around positive ideas like the golden rule.  If there is a God and a heaven, then Hallelujah, if not, doesn't it help society to follow many of the teachings of many religions and faiths?  If there is no heaven, then at least we've created a heaven on earth of sorts when we focus on loving one another rather than perpetuating hate. I believe the same is true for climate change if you think about it.  From a book called the Healing Power of Trees by Sharlyn Hidalgo, the phrase that we have paradise on earth can ring true.  From scientific facts, it points to the earth getting warmer.  If humans are the cause, we should take steps to do something about it.  If in the end, the science is somehow wrong or this is just a cycle we are going through, treating our planet/home with love and respect can only benefit the human race.  Much like religion and a higher power, belief in global warming or not, it wouldn't hurt to decrease our carbon footprint, use more energy efficient and renewable power, use fewer plastic straws/plastic in general and be kinder to our world. If in the end, humans aren't causing the problem,  and there is no God or heaven, we still don't have to be assholes about it and treat our world and other humans better.

Yesterday, while out with my daughter prom dress shopping, I brought up the subject about current events like the election, coronavirus and climate change.  When I asked her if any of her friends were talking about the election or the coronavirus, she remarked that mostly what they discuss is the fact that the world is going to either be ruined by some sort of small thing, like a virus, or a big things like war and that many in her generation feel hopeless.  Obviously this makes me extremely sad. 

This discussion with her reminded me of a college essay response that she shared with me related to a book called The Road by Cormack McCarthy. "It was McCarthy's nihilistic messages and desolate imagery that unsettled me. The Road is the story of a father and son on their way through an effigy of what was once America. The entire novel details their journey through a post apocalyptic wasteland of ash and fire, where no plant or animal can survive, and what is left of humanity has turned on each other in acts of enslavement and cannibalism. There is no hope. Their story is one of an aimless search for a reason to live, a chance at salvation. But it never comes. To me, these themes of hopelessness made the unit where we read and analyzed this book the most disturbing of my high school english units. In our current climate, I found the themes even more unsettling. Climate change, nuclear war, and societal collapse are all real threats to humanity in my lifetime, and this future could be my own. So, through the entirety of reading this novel, through the extensive descriptions of the scorched earth, through the graphic detailing of half-eaten people held hostage in a basement, all I could do was think about how that horrible, singed future could be mine.--"

This is what young people are thinking about.  In my opinion, the current administration is doing NOTHING to calm the fears of young people. Nothing.  At this point, any of the Democratic challengers to our current President is an immense improvement and will bring me hope that someone will address the most important issue and that is addressing global warming.  All other issues are important, don't get me wrong, and saving our planet should be priority one on day one.

"The good news is that the future hasn’t already been set in stone. Climate change is an inescapable present and future reality, but the point of the IPCC report is that there is still a chance to seize the best-case scenario rather than surrender to the worst.... Grave threat, or unmissable opportunity for movement and funding? There is still time to decide, although the window is narrowing rapidly."

From the Five Reflections on the IPCC Climate Change Report By Justin Adams, Executive Director, Tropical Forest Alliance (Currently seconded to the TFA from The Nature Conservancy) | October 24, 2018

13 years is now only 10 or 11 years, perhaps even less.  For all of our children, grand children and future generations, we need leadership in the White House is will not call climate change and global warning a hoax nor deny its effects like a virus rapidly spreading and becoming a pandemic before it is too late.

Auschwitz-75th Anniversary

While in Paris in April 2009 on my honeymoon with Husband 2.0, we visited all the usual Parisian must-see sites including the Louvre, Musee D'Orsay, the Champs-Elysees and numerous cathedrals and points of interest.  On a gray, Parisian day, while wondering through the Marais, one of the distinct arrondissement of the city, we stumbled upon the Shoah Memorial and decided to tour the memorial to get out of the cool, drizzly day.  Much like the weather outside, the inside was gray and gloomy with a chill in the air.  We discovered 12 sections for the exhibition starting with the intro to the history of Jews in France, the Rise of Nazism through to the last permanent exhibition consisting of the Children's Memorial. This part of the exhibit contains 3,000 photographs of deported Jewish children in alphabetical order who were sent to Auschwitz-Birkenau.  This was a haunting reminder of the three small children we left at home and the fact that many parents during WWII lost their children to the gas chambers in Poland.

There were not many visitors in the memorial roaming the exhibits, so when my spouse and I somehow got separated I was a little uneasy that I couldn't easily turn a corner and find him standing there.  I wondered through the exhibits slowly, half looking at the images and artifacts lining the walls and half looking for him to be just around the corner.  The uneasiness escalated to slight panic as the minutes passed for what seemed like hours (and was likely only 30 minutes) until we were reunited.  Again, I was thankful for a short separation from a loved one that was not permanent and noted to myself the irony of our separation to that of loved ones during the Holocaust...there is no comparison to be sure.

In 2015, I returned to Europe on a multi-country trip with my daughter.  We started in Austria then travelled to Poland, Brussels and France.  Europe was experiencing a record-breaking heat wave as we flew into Austria to stay with one of my former foreign exchange students.  We loved touring Vienna with Astrid, our own personal tour guide, seeing the sites and swimming in the Danube. While cooling off in the river that runs through the middle of the city, we thought of the Von Trapp children hanging from branches and falling in the river from their canoe and acted out the scene from our paddle boat.  My daughter has seen the movie numerous times and loved singing all the songs as a child.  The backdrop of Naziism and the Holocaust we briefly discuss while she was young so she understood the significance of the movie and the fact that we could see the World War II influcents on some sites in Vienna.

Once we landed in Warsaw, the heat was still quite unbearable.  Instead of taking day trips to Krakow or Auschwitz from Warsaw,  we chose to spend several nights at a lake, lounging most days, putzing around the lake, playing in the water and mud, reading in the cool rooms during the heat of the day and meeting other Poles escaping the heat from the cities.  To be honest, I was relieved not to visit Krakow or Auschwitz.  After my experience in the Shoah Memorial in Paris years before and a visit to Anne Frank's hideout while in Amsterdam, I knew that a visit to the actual site in Auschwitz would have been very difficult for me and my highly-sensitive child.  From movies like Fiddler on the Roof, Schindler's List, Life is Beautiful and Inglorious Bastards and books from The Key and the Reader, I have felt physically ill from the trauma endured by those during the Holocaust. In my head, I can hear the words of a dear Haitian friend who died a few years ago, "It is man's inhumanity to man that causes great ills in our society." He was quoting from Robert Burns poem called "From Man was Made to Mourn: A Dirge".  There are days where I am ashamed for not having the courage or strength to visit Auschwitz while in Poland and I will deal with those emotions as best I can.  Visiting the Shoah Memorial in Paris and Anne Frank's house will have to do for in-person accounts for me for now.

Yesterday, Kobe Bryant, his 13 year old daughter Gigi and 7 other people were tragically killed in a helicopter accident. I did not know Kobe personally and was surprised by how bad I felt about it.  Then I thought about his wife Vanessa learning the news and what I have heard, and only witnessed second hand, about the pain of losing a child.  I found comfort in the words of Bernice King who wrote, "Mourning a 'celebrity" does not = lack of consciousness.' And sometimes the death of someone we feel like we knew, but we never actually touched, triggers pain about the death of people we knew well.  We are on a brief pilgrimage here, reconciling life and death. Love well."  This helps explain to me the sadness of Kobe death, that death of Anne Frank and the millions of Jews who perished at the hands of evil.  We are all here on this planet reconciling life and death.

I am consoled by the words of Norman Cousins who wrote, "The tragedy of life is not death...but what we let die inside of us while we live."  Kobe seemed to be living his life to the fullest post basketball career and reminded me of my former father-in-law who passed away just before Thanksgiving.  Pops lived a full life, loved to travel and loved his family immensely and was never afraid to tell those he loved, "I love you." He extended that love to me even though I was no longer married to his stepson, and told me he still considered me family weeks before his death.

Elie Wiesel said, "Every moment counts. Every second matters." This morning, as I was preparing my daughter's cinnamon Chai tea (2 teaspoons of honey with a splash of milk) like I have done virtually every school morning for the past 12 years, I looked out the window over my sink and could see, beyond the pool and the blooming pink knock out roses, the sun rising between the trees and bushes in the greenbelt behind my home.  As the sun rose, I thought about gratitude.  I am grateful for the simple and mundane things of every morning.  This morning, I sent out a little prayer for so many souls who no longer have the luxury of experiencing the highs and lows of life, the spectacular and day-to-day moments that make a life.  I turned the faucet on to wash my hands and recited in my head the motto I have lived by everyday since the devastating earthquake in Haiti in 2010, 'I am thankful that everyday I walk to the faucet, turn the water on and water comes out because so many live everyday without something so simple that we take for granted." 

Lets also remember from Elie Wiesel "No one is capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the Kingdom of night."

Oak Wilt and Impeachment

As I was doing my run/walk around my neighborhood recently, I was noticing the many hues in nature that fill the landscapes of yards I pass each morning.  Many who visit Central Texas this time of year are surprised by the many colors that make an appearance in the late Fall and early Winter here.  The fall colors are not quite as plentiful as those found in other parts of the country, however we still get the maroon browns, burnt oranges, reds, yellows and a variety of pinks.  Currently, my knock out roses are blooming still with reds and pinks and the bright red berries against the green leaves of the Texas Yaupon trees are perfectly timed around Christmas, like they were made for easy outdoor decorating for the holidays.  Another thing that visitors notice is how green this part of Texas stays even in winter.  Some trees do lose their leaves here and many grasses go dormant and turn to a brownish, dull color, but the Texas Live Oak is still a vibrant green because it is an evergreen tree.

The Live Oak figures prominently in Texas history lore.  Since it only loses it leaves in bags-full in the spring, it provides shade for children to play, late afternoon meetings of all sorts and to protect oneself from the oppressive Texas sun July through September.  According to folklore, in the 1830s, Stephen F. Austin met with Native Americans to negotiate a boundaries treaty under Treaty Oak here in Austin and Sam Houston rested under the tree after leaving the Governorship.  Another popular tale describes Santa Anna's surrender to a wounded Sam Houston under an oak tree after the Battle of San Jacinto which eventually led to the creation of the Republic of Texas.  On a very personal note, it was the very grand, 120+ year old Live Oak tree in the back yard of my current home that was a huge influence on my decision to purchase this place a little over 12 years ago.

The large tree in my backyard reminds me of the tree in Forrest Gump that Forrest and Jennie would spend hours climbing and sitting on the branches talking and sitting quietly thinking about life.  As a child, my 7 siblings and I spent a lot of time in the tree branches of a similar tree that grew in our front yard.  We LOVED that tree and I very much wanted for my daughter to have similar memories.  She also spent many hours with friends, climbing the branches and swinging on the swings that were attached to one of the largest and most horizontal branches.  Sadly, the tree developed a grave problem.

A little over two years ago, I noticed that the leaves of our tree were not a plentiful as usual in the winter but still a nice color of green.  In the spring, like all Live Oaks, it lost all its leaves followed by waves of green pollen that filled the air, pools, covered all cars and outdoor furniture with a thick layer of green pollen, then the leaves started to come back.  I thought the mighty oak had recovered then I noticed that fewer leaves came back and they did not look as healthy as they had in the past.  I hired an arborist to come check it out and she sadly gave me the prognosis that the tree had oak wilt.  This 120+ year old tree had survived pushing its roots through solid, visable bedrock around its trunk and years of off and on drought to live so long but this horrible fungus-related tree disease was going to take it down.

Oak Wilt is one of the most destructive tree diseases in Texas.  It is an infectious disease caused by a fungus which invades and disables the water-conducting system. Texas Live Oaks are most seriously affected due to their tendency to grow with a vast, interconnected root system that allows movement of the fungus among adjacent trees.  Live oaks defoliate and die within 3-6 months following the initial appearance of symptoms. Occasionally, a few live oaks in an oak wilt center may escape infection and remain unaffected by the disease even though the large, dense group of trees (called motts) have interconnected roots.

The fungus is transmitted by small beetles that emerge and visit fresh wounds of healthy oaks during the months of February to May.  To prevent the spread, during certain times of the year, you are not supposed to cut/trim any limbs of the trees.  Of course, wounds on trees can occur in various ways, so tree trimming is not the only point of entry for the beetle.  Once one tree is infected, to prevent he spread of the disease, a fungicide in big, keg barrels is used around other oaks and the diseased tree is removed.

The day the crew came to take the tree down hit me like a ton of lead.  When my landscaper came to check on the progress and how I was doing, I broke down sobbing in her arms.  The tree held so many memories for me and my daughter and there is no telling how much history surrounded it.  In a few short hours, the 120+ year old tree would be no more.

In some ways, I equate the current climate in our society and political arena to the spread and devastation caused by Oak Wilt.  In this scenario, the fungus/oak wilt is intolerance, divisiveness, lies and hate that is affecting all areas of our lives. President Trump is not the first 'beetle' to burrow himself into the mighty tree of our Democratic Republic, however with his words and actions, he has fanned the flames that spread this diseases and it feels like it will forever damage our country.

Who was the first 'beetle' to strike the first blow to our 243 year old governmental tree and weaken so many parts of our government and sow the seeds of doubt and divisiveness?  Could it have been Doug Coe, Richard Nixon, Roger Ailes?  Or might it have been Rush Limbaugh or Alex Jones?  There are 'beetles' that seem to have infected several branches of our government like Bill Barr in the DOJ, Brett Kavanaugh in the Judicial Branch, Mitch McConnell in the Legislative Branch and of course, Trump, in the Executive branch.  The poison of lies, deceit and hate started out being subtly spread and now are on a full-on attack to our country.

Many have stepped forward to inject the healing fungicide into our government to prevent further spread of this fungus of hate including Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Shumer and Adam Schiff.  Outside the Legislative Branch we could include Marie Yovannovitch, Fiona Hill, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, Bill Taylor and George Kent.  Their testimonies at the Impeachment Trial were one quick blast to the system to attempt to get those who have sworn to protect our Constitution to stand up and follow through on that oath.  Is it too little too late?

Outside the government are some who also work to expose the truth and work to save our county by putting country over party.  Rick Wilson, Bill Kristol, Matthew Dowd, Ana Navarro, Karine Jean-Pierre, Nicolle Wallace and Molly Jong-Fast to name a few of the many.  We can be appreciative of one of the groups recently formed called the Lincoln Project whose mission is to defeat President Trump and Trumpism at the ballot box.  All of these patriots are working to inject the fungicide at a dosage that will halt and hopefully stop the spread of the disease that would render our Democratic Republic and turn it into a relic and a shell of its original self just like the tree in my backyard.

Through the Impeachment process, the Legislative Branch is working to show that no one is above the law.  A serious question is whether or not the institutions/branches of government are strong enough or has the 'fungus' already weakened them so much that the attempts are futile.  Some defending the president say that the Impeachment is a coup or an attempt to overturn the election in 2016.  I whole-heartedly disagree.  In sporting events AND elections, when one cheats or lies, there should be natural consequences.  When the depth of deceit was fully disclosed during Watergate hearings, Nixon resigned instead of being impeached. When it was fully revealed that Lance Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs to win in cycling, he was stripped of 7 of his Tour De France and banned from cycling.  Similarly, American Athlete, Marion Jones, was formally stripped of the 5 medals she won at the Sydney games in 2000.  No one is, nor should be, above the law and when lies and cheating for personal benefit is exposed, they should expect the natural consequences to come into play.  All the evidence to date points to the fact that President Trump has lied and cheated for his own personal gain.  The extent of this is still unknown yet it is time for those who continue to defend him to make amends and do the right thing.

While our 120+ year old tree did not survive the pernicious oak wilt, in its place I have cultivated a garden that provides flowers, fruits and vegetables for us to enjoy.  The Treaty Oak in downtown Austin survived the 1989 vandalism by herbicide poison but two thirds of the tree died and more than half of the crown was pruned away. It still stands today, obviously somewhat lopsided, and producing acorns again.  The fungus of division, lies and hate in our country and of factions in the government need to be stopped if we are to save the 240+ year old tree of our Constitution and our Democratic Republic.  What our country will look like once the oak wilt/division is eradicated, is anyone's guess.  It can still bear fruit for years to come, as long as those in power will stand up to defend it.

Milestones

As I sit here just thinking about 'putting pen to paper' to get my thoughts down about this, tears well up in my eyes.  When someone first learns that they are going to be a parent, there is so much excitement surrounding the birth of your child.  You begin to get gifts from family and friends like blankets, outfits, toys and things like memory books to commemorate milestones like first tooth, first haircut, first steps, first day of school and on to first car, first time driving alone and first college visit.  Since my daughter is now 16 going on 17, there are many grown-up firsts and many teenage 'lasts'.  I am going to soak up all of these events with her this coming year since the grown up firsts are quickly taking over in number.  Never in a million years did I ever imagine that so many of these milestones would be punctuated by tragedy much like the movie Forrest Gump.

In the movie, Forrest Gump, he travels through both high and low historic events.  Some highs, playing football for 'Bama, winning at Ping Pong, the 'smiley face' incident, Apple computers and more.  Some lows, Vietnam, political assassinations, the death of his parent, HIV/Aids.  As his mother states many times, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get."

A few days ago I got the dreaded text NO parent ever wants to see.  MH texted, "Did you guys hear anything about Westwood?".  I was driving and immediately pulled over to the side of the road so I could respond and I instinctively starting shaking with my mind racing, wondering 'Do I drive to the school, OMG, I am less than a mile from there.  What do I do?' "No, What?! I texted back.  MH responded "E sent this: Just so you guys know someone came on the announcements saying that there is a threat outside but the doors are locked so yeah Anyway."  I was feeling helpless not knowing what to do and reached out to my daughter via text and was hoping to hear back even though I know the cell connection at the school is not great.  "I saw the email about crazy at the school. You Ok?" I texted.  Her response, "Yeah, made my teacher lock the door bc I'm nervous." I was elated to hear from her and sad that I couldn't be there with her.  I offered to come to the school, not really caring what the threat was, and she said she was okay because her teacher had a bat.  The rest of the afternoon was a complete blur and I was pretty numb the rest of the day, and for several days after to be honest.  A funk that I am just now starting to come out of and be able to write about.

I posted something about it on Twitter in response to a tweet by someone I follow. Her tweet was about a 3-year old practicing how to hide from a shooter at her pre-school.

I responded to this post:

And then got a heartbreaking response from April:

We are sending our children to school and having them practice mass shooter drills instead of fire drills and tornado/severe weather drills (I grew up in the midwest).  It is like we are sending them into a war zone and in the words of Adam Schiff, 'It's not okay!' Man-made disasters are taking the place of natural disaster preparedness and unlike natural disasters, WE DO have solutions at our disposal. We shouldn't be arming teachers with instruments of killing when they should be able to focus on reading, writing, arithmetic and teaching our kids how to live, not die.

My mind starting flashing back to incidents of school shootings/tragedies like in Forrest Gump that are peppered throughout my daughter's life that may not have directly affected her, however they are a part of her history.  This most recent event, while no one was hurt, will be a milestone in her life as the first gun-related event at her school that led to a lockdown.  In my memory, the first indirect gun related event took place December 14th, 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary, 26 people died and 20 of them were elementary children.  Like many, I distinctly remember the day, horrified by the news and paradoxically so grateful that my 10-year old was home sick from school.  I was grateful for the few extra days of innocence I could safeguard for her until Sunday evening when I was going to have to tell her about the tragic loss of 26 lives in Connecticut.  When I sat down in the chair-and-a-half in our living room, a chair filled with many joyful memories reading books and watching shows with her, it became a chair also filled with what would become a sad memory too.  As I began to tell her about Sandy Hook, I could barely speak without getting overcome with grief.  I don't remember the exact words I spoke to her and do remember choking on the words that I was so sad because as a parent, you want to protect your children from harm and that there comes a day when a parent realizes you are unable to protect them everywhere and forever.

While there were numerous mass-shootings in between Sandy Hook and Parkland, Florida, the mass shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School that killed 17 people deeply affected me for obvious reasons, I now had a high schooler.  Instead of being able to fully celebrate her high school milestones like first high school dance, first car, getting her driver's license, we also had to deal with the stark reality of her safety while at school.  Teenage years are difficult enough having to navigate new and old friendships, tough classes and finding your passion to carry over to college years without having to be concerned about your safety at school.  We absolutely have the power to make changes that do not involve arming our teachers.  On March 15 of this year, 50 people were killed in Christchurch, New Zealand at two mosques.  Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's response was swift and unwavering.  From WBUR News website on April 1, 2019

And Prime Minister Ardern's address at the memorial for the victims of the Christchurch mosque shootings.

While Forrest Gump was a character of the world and my daughter is not, she is MY world.  As a parent, I wish that she possessed the super powers of Violet Parr in the Incredibles and could protect herself and those around her.

Since having these super powers just is not possible, I will continue to be vigilant about teaching her to be observant of things going on around her as she ventures out further and farther from home.  I  will never forget that my time with her is precious no matter what milestones she is meeting, positive or negative/on time or delayed, and always welcome her home.  In the meantime, like Forrest, this is where I will be waiting....

Superheroes

On the eve of early voting here in Texas, I have been thinking of superheroes. According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, a superhero is a fictional hero having extraordinary or superhuman power and also an exceptionally skillful or successful person.  I have a love-hate relationship with superhero movies of the Marvel and DC variety.  Friends and family know that there are some movies that I won't and shouldn't go and see because I get so bothered by them and they can affect my mood for extended periods of time.

Take the first Avengers movie for example.  This is the first in a series of Marvel movies where the superheroes come together as a team in order to fight villains who are out to destroy humanity as we know it in one form or another.  I was bothered by the scenes where the superheroes let their egos get in the way of seeing the bigger picture and doing their job, protecting those who they serve.  In a similar situation, I am struggling to watch our elected officials allowing their egos to get in the way of doing their jobs, representing all who they govern and not just the ones who contribute large amounts of money to their campaigns. 

I have not seen many of the latest Avengers movies because of the aggravation they would cause me.  And don't even get me started on Superman vs. Batman or Avengers Civil War. Why go to the movies where I am supposed to be entertained and instead leave with a feeling of doom and malaise?  I do know the basic plot line of the Avengers - Infinity War and actually attempted to watch it even though my daughter and many others told me not to do it.  "Thanos, a despot of intergalactic infamy, his goal is to collect all six Infinity Stones, artifacts of unimaginable power, and use them to inflict his twisted will on all of reality.  Everything the Avengers have fought for has led up to this moment - the fate of the Earth and existence itself has never been more uncertain." ~Marvel Studios. 

While our President Trump may not be a super-villain who, with the snap of his fingers, can snuff out half of civilization, we must remember the following:
~He wouldn't say that Nazis and white-supremacist behavior is bad.
~He controls nuclear weapons with immense destructive powers.
~He is spearheading legislation that supports the elimination of government programs that help large groups of our population in favor of tax cuts for corporations and the upper 1% of the citizens of the US.
~He has appointed a Supreme Court Justice who seems to support giving MORE power the Executive Branch, shielding it from repercussions from abuse of that power.
~He praises a congressman who body slammed a journalist, mocked a sexual assault survivor in public and calls the Free Press an enemy of the people.
~He won't denounce a government that allegedly and brutally murdered a Washington Post journalist and American resident.
~There are children separated from their families seeking refuge in the US now in cages. In the desert. Children in cages.

History will judge his impact on America and the world and I suspect it will not be good.

So where are our heroes?  I don't believe superheroes roam the earth, although it sure would be nice.  There are some heroes, I believe, in several walks of life.  Some promote civility in everyday life and in politics.  We can find them in local governments and in candidates running for office in every state.  Since I live in Texas, I find that they take the form of Senate candidate, Beto O'Rourke, who can sometimes be found skateboarding in a Whataburger parking lot late at night.  A candidate who has said while discussing kneeling during NFL games, "...reasonable people can disagree on this issue...And it makes them no less American to come down on a different conclusion on the issue."  And also said on ABC, This Week, "The kind of bitterness and the name-calling and partisanship that has unfortunately defined so much of the national conversation, you can add more to it or you can stay focused on the future."

Or, a candidate to represent our state in Congress who shows up to a candidate forum in a black skirt and combat boots. MJ Hegar has stated at a Texas Tribune Q&A session, "I'm a huge fan of bipartisanship and working together to get things done. I do think there's a difference, though, between the friendship that belongs on the golf course and fighting for our ideals and values on the battlefield."

Nationally, there are citizens standing up to sexual assault even though it means jeopardizing a peaceful existence.  Dr. Christine Blasey Ford is one who opened herself up to attacks by members of congress and the general public.  Individuals who have never had to live in fear of attacks from the opposite sex.

And then there are Mavericks in Congress who will be missed like John McCain.  A hero who stood up for country over party when voting in Congress, voting no for repealing ACA that offered protections to millions.  He voted his conscience rather than voting for something just because he was instructed by his party to do so.

Finally in Vermont, two opposing candidates for a place in Congress, Republican Zachary Mayo and Democrat Lucy Rogers take a few moments to sing a duet after a debate to show us civility is possible, and sorely needed.

Closer to home, it is simple and clear to me.  Once you are done reading this, go to your hallway, entry way, bathroom or car and look in the mirror.  Look closely and realize we have a say in our destinies and our lives by voting.  We can be heroes too, simply by exercising our right to vote. A quote from Victor Hugo comes to mind:

"The future has several names.
For the weak, it is impossible.
For the fainthearted, it is unknown.
For the thoughtful and the valiant, it is ideal.
The challenge is urgent, the task is large, the time is now."

Vote.