In the movie, Forrest Gump, he travels through both high and low historic events. Some highs, playing football for 'Bama, winning at Ping Pong, the 'smiley face' incident, Apple computers and more. Some lows, Vietnam, political assassinations, the death of his parent, HIV/Aids. As his mother states many times, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get."
A few days ago I got the dreaded text NO parent ever wants to see. MH texted, "Did you guys hear anything about Westwood?". I was driving and immediately pulled over to the side of the road so I could respond and I instinctively starting shaking with my mind racing, wondering 'Do I drive to the school, OMG, I am less than a mile from there. What do I do?' "No, What?! I texted back. MH responded "E sent this: Just so you guys know someone came on the announcements saying that there is a threat outside but the doors are locked so yeah Anyway." I was feeling helpless not knowing what to do and reached out to my daughter via text and was hoping to hear back even though I know the cell connection at the school is not great. "I saw the email about crazy at the school. You Ok?" I texted. Her response, "Yeah, made my teacher lock the door bc I'm nervous." I was elated to hear from her and sad that I couldn't be there with her. I offered to come to the school, not really caring what the threat was, and she said she was okay because her teacher had a bat. The rest of the afternoon was a complete blur and I was pretty numb the rest of the day, and for several days after to be honest. A funk that I am just now starting to come out of and be able to write about.
I posted something about it on Twitter in response to a tweet by someone I follow. Her tweet was about a 3-year old practicing how to hide from a shooter at her pre-school.
And then got a heartbreaking response from April:
We are sending our children to school and having them practice mass shooter drills instead of fire drills and tornado/severe weather drills (I grew up in the midwest). It is like we are sending them into a war zone and in the words of Adam Schiff, 'It's not okay!' Man-made disasters are taking the place of natural disaster preparedness and unlike natural disasters, WE DO have solutions at our disposal. We shouldn't be arming teachers with instruments of killing when they should be able to focus on reading, writing, arithmetic and teaching our kids how to live, not die.
My mind starting flashing back to incidents of school shootings/tragedies like in Forrest Gump that are peppered throughout my daughter's life that may not have directly affected her, however they are a part of her history. This most recent event, while no one was hurt, will be a milestone in her life as the first gun-related event at her school that led to a lockdown. In my memory, the first indirect gun related event took place December 14th, 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary, 26 people died and 20 of them were elementary children. Like many, I distinctly remember the day, horrified by the news and paradoxically so grateful that my 10-year old was home sick from school. I was grateful for the few extra days of innocence I could safeguard for her until Sunday evening when I was going to have to tell her about the tragic loss of 26 lives in Connecticut. When I sat down in the chair-and-a-half in our living room, a chair filled with many joyful memories reading books and watching shows with her, it became a chair also filled with what would become a sad memory too. As I began to tell her about Sandy Hook, I could barely speak without getting overcome with grief. I don't remember the exact words I spoke to her and do remember choking on the words that I was so sad because as a parent, you want to protect your children from harm and that there comes a day when a parent realizes you are unable to protect them everywhere and forever.
While there were numerous mass-shootings in between Sandy Hook and Parkland, Florida, the mass shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School that killed 17 people deeply affected me for obvious reasons, I now had a high schooler. Instead of being able to fully celebrate her high school milestones like first high school dance, first car, getting her driver's license, we also had to deal with the stark reality of her safety while at school. Teenage years are difficult enough having to navigate new and old friendships, tough classes and finding your passion to carry over to college years without having to be concerned about your safety at school. We absolutely have the power to make changes that do not involve arming our teachers. On March 15 of this year, 50 people were killed in Christchurch, New Zealand at two mosques. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's response was swift and unwavering. From WBUR News website on April 1, 2019
While Forrest Gump was a character of the world and my daughter is not, she is MY world. As a parent, I wish that she possessed the super powers of Violet Parr in the Incredibles and could protect herself and those around her.
Since having these super powers just is not possible, I will continue to be vigilant about teaching her to be observant of things going on around her as she ventures out further and farther from home. I will never forget that my time with her is precious no matter what milestones she is meeting, positive or negative/on time or delayed, and always welcome her home. In the meantime, like Forrest, this is where I will be waiting....
